Thursday, June 8, 2017
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
A little setback...
Well, it appears I've been a bit set back again.
This is frustrating and annoying, as I really thought I was beyond the point of getting kicked back down like this. A tired day here or there? Sure! But I spent yesterday and today in bed - not even so much out of exhaustion, as much as the dizziness/swirling that tries to hit me when I get up and/or move my head wrong. The protocol I'm on takes time, but I had kinda started to think I was in the "safe zone". I'm still not really sure if this is just old symptoms flaring, as they are all symptoms I've had before or just a new relapse.
This certainly isn't the worst I've been, but it's definitely a step back. I had not made a full recovery yet from past relapses, but I was headed in the right direction - walking briskly 30 minutes every night, starting to help more around the house, starting to help with the business again. The dizziness was starting to lift. My stress capacity and ability to handle things around me had definitely increased.
I'm still not driving. It's been a year. I tried a little bit ago, as the dizziness had been getting better. I got to the end of the street and headed straight back. It truly is amazing how much our brains process just going through life. We take it for granted and don't even realize how much it is doing. Life isn't supposed to tax a normal brain.
I'm still not doing my grocery shopping either. My husband and I went into an Indian market the other day. It was a lot of fun, but a reminder that I'm not ready for grocery shopping yet. Your head turns way too much when you're in a grocery store. :) I bet some of you never even realized that, huh?! ;)
We tried hitting Target last week to go dress shopping for my daughter's recital. It ended with me crying in the parking lot, calling my mom, asking her to help my daughter.
My husband and I chatted and he reminded me: I'm doing things now that I wasn't doing 3 months ago. Maybe in 3 months, I'll be grocery shopping and maybe 3 months after that I'll be driving again. I had renewed hope. :) I recovered quicker from my Target trip than I did the Indian market trip earlier that week. So we came up with a plan: My husband would drop me off at the Walgreens down the street and let me walk around a bit by myself. He would stay in the car with the kids. We would try to give my brain a chance to reestablish new pathways, starting with small chunks of time. Who knew Retail Therapy REALLY was a thing?! :) But it just never happened last week.
Then Saturday the dizziness/swirling started getting worse. We skipped a meeting we were supposed to go to Saturday night, and we skipped church Sunday morning. My daughter had a recital Sunday night and I didn't want to comprise myself. I made it Sunday night and was feeling a bit better, but got hit again Monday morning. Now I've been in bed more or less for two days. I'd really just like this to go away.
The lies try to hit...Will I miss my kids' childhood stuck in bed? The discouragement tries to come in! But like I told my friend today, I'm gonna pull up my big girl panties and get better! God is stronger than this and He's got me. I'm frustrated, I'm discouraged, I'm annoyed - But with God, I WILL overcome!!!
This is frustrating and annoying, as I really thought I was beyond the point of getting kicked back down like this. A tired day here or there? Sure! But I spent yesterday and today in bed - not even so much out of exhaustion, as much as the dizziness/swirling that tries to hit me when I get up and/or move my head wrong. The protocol I'm on takes time, but I had kinda started to think I was in the "safe zone". I'm still not really sure if this is just old symptoms flaring, as they are all symptoms I've had before or just a new relapse.
This certainly isn't the worst I've been, but it's definitely a step back. I had not made a full recovery yet from past relapses, but I was headed in the right direction - walking briskly 30 minutes every night, starting to help more around the house, starting to help with the business again. The dizziness was starting to lift. My stress capacity and ability to handle things around me had definitely increased.
I'm still not driving. It's been a year. I tried a little bit ago, as the dizziness had been getting better. I got to the end of the street and headed straight back. It truly is amazing how much our brains process just going through life. We take it for granted and don't even realize how much it is doing. Life isn't supposed to tax a normal brain.
I'm still not doing my grocery shopping either. My husband and I went into an Indian market the other day. It was a lot of fun, but a reminder that I'm not ready for grocery shopping yet. Your head turns way too much when you're in a grocery store. :) I bet some of you never even realized that, huh?! ;)
We tried hitting Target last week to go dress shopping for my daughter's recital. It ended with me crying in the parking lot, calling my mom, asking her to help my daughter.
My husband and I chatted and he reminded me: I'm doing things now that I wasn't doing 3 months ago. Maybe in 3 months, I'll be grocery shopping and maybe 3 months after that I'll be driving again. I had renewed hope. :) I recovered quicker from my Target trip than I did the Indian market trip earlier that week. So we came up with a plan: My husband would drop me off at the Walgreens down the street and let me walk around a bit by myself. He would stay in the car with the kids. We would try to give my brain a chance to reestablish new pathways, starting with small chunks of time. Who knew Retail Therapy REALLY was a thing?! :) But it just never happened last week.
Then Saturday the dizziness/swirling started getting worse. We skipped a meeting we were supposed to go to Saturday night, and we skipped church Sunday morning. My daughter had a recital Sunday night and I didn't want to comprise myself. I made it Sunday night and was feeling a bit better, but got hit again Monday morning. Now I've been in bed more or less for two days. I'd really just like this to go away.
The lies try to hit...Will I miss my kids' childhood stuck in bed? The discouragement tries to come in! But like I told my friend today, I'm gonna pull up my big girl panties and get better! God is stronger than this and He's got me. I'm frustrated, I'm discouraged, I'm annoyed - But with God, I WILL overcome!!!
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