We were supposed to start the disease modifying drugs today, but after much prayer, research, and consulting, we feel we are being led down a different path and I AM SO GRATEFUL!!! So continued prayers fo healing and guidance as we walk this new path!!!
I certainly had some crazy emotions while we were set up to start the meds. While it was scary and emotional, it was also a valuable path for me to walk to help sort through some things. Fear can be a thing for me, unfortunately. The fear of starting Gilenya was very real, and I didn't really have a peace about starting it. But I also felt like not starting Gilyena, while it wasn't doing anything, WAS doing something. NOT doing, IS doing sometimes, right? Especially in this situation, when it was easy to feel a bit like a ticking time bomb, unsure when another attack would come! Did that make any sense? ;) So I had to process a few things! Is my God big enough to walk with me, even down THIS path? For me trusting for a healing is one thing, but what about these meds now?! Ya know?! :) Is He big enough to prevent nasty side effects? Is He big enough to walk with me through these nasty side effects!? What if I die? What if I don't die and they screw me up just enough to not kill me, but leave me a vegetable? Can I still trust God even through THIS?! The answer is YES!!!! I walked that scary path in my mind straight to the end and had to decide!! The conclusion, God could be trusted!!!! He truly loves us, and we don't have to be afraid. This doesn't mean we won't be afraid! ;) This doesn't mean we won't go through hard times. But He can be our anchor!!!!
My daughter wrote out this verse for me awhile ago. It is by my recumbent bike where I exercise and I love it!!!
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