Be grateful today...

None of us is guaranteed tomorrow. Or even our next breath for that matter. None of us is guaranteed perfect health or happiness. I think many of us go through life with a certain expectancy, though. An expectancy that we will wake up tomorrow, that the sun will keep shining - that we will be able to see it!!! This is something that isn't quite as certain for someone with MS. Of course, it's not so certain for any of us, but when you have MS, you have that extra reminder. You realize that truly you aren't guaranteed your health. Your immune system, for some reason unknown to you, might decide to go rogue and start attacking your brain, your spine, your optic nerve - places it shouldn't be attacking or even accessing for that matter! You might wake up unable to see, or unable to walk. You might wake up stiff, weak, or unable to move without your body spasming.  You might suddenly feel dizzy, confused, tired. Or...you might be just fine!

There is an unpredictability with this disease that can really pull against our desire to have a neat and orderly, well-thought-out, and planned life. I know many people roll with things much easier than me. But I'll admit -  that's not my specialty. I like to know what's gonna happen next. I like to plan and prepare. I like to think it's a gift I have - to be organized, planned, and prepared! :) I have a number of young kids, and if I don't plan ahead, well, we know how easily and quickly kids can take over!!! :) I try to stay on top of things. I was always really good at this in the past. But now I'm needing to learn to rest. To let go. To not worry! This is something I've known I needed to learn, but now it's a necessity. Now it's being thrust upon me. Because having several small children, homeschooling, and having a husband that works for himself wasn't unpredictable enough apparently for me to learn this lesson! :)

The unknown is just a part of my life now. Learning to be grateful for each day, for each ability, for each moment of grace from God is so vital. Life is a gift - enjoying it is a gift! None of us are promised our next moment. Enjoy each breath, soak up those peaceful, happy moments. And thank God for what you have. There's a part of me that's a bit upset that I'm happy that it's been 3 months since I've had a major relapse. I don't even want that to be something that needs to be on my happy list. But it is. It's where I'm at right now. So I can be angry about that, or I can be grateful. Grateful that I've gone 3 months without a major relapse. Grateful I can see. Grateful I'm not in pain. Grateful my body isn't spasming. Grateful I can breathe and care for myself. Grateful I can walk on my own and I can type. Grateful for today and trusting for God's grace for tomorrow.